Crabby mom to sugared‐up five‐year‐old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: airwav
Crabby mom to sugared‐up five‐year‐old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: airwav
Man, hearing seagulls: Wolves!
–Upper Hutt, New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Guy sharing Ferris wheel with family: Good thing they fixed this cart, it was broken yesterday.
Old lady: Have you ever been slapped by a complete stranger?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: girl #1
Little boy, wearing a towel as a cape: I’m six! And six‐year‐old boys are full of poison! I’m gonna bite you! Rawrrr!
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lisita
Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…
–Seal Beach, California
Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years!
–Beach near Naples, Florida
Overheard by: X
Father: No, you can’t go in there. There’s a bar, and it’s over 21.
Little boy standing in front of café stares at father.
Father: Quick, get away from the door before you set off the alarm!
–Duck, Outer Banks, North Carolina
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I’ll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don’t know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
Five‐year old boy whining to dad: Let’s go boogie‐board.
Dad: No! You know my nipples get raw if I go without a shirt on…
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Lilian
Little girl: I’m gonna… I’m gonna cut off your head with a knife!
Mother, shocked: Where did you hear that kind of language?!
Little girl: Ummm, I don’t know…
Mother: You must have heard it somewhere!
Little girl: I made it up! … Is pepperoni meat?
Mother: Yes.
–Oceanside, California
Overheard by: kafrin
