Teens

Wet teen boy #1, rubbing eyes: My eyes hurt.
Wet teen boy #2: From the salt?
Wet teen boy #1: Nah. I’ve been outside for two days. They’re used to video game light only.

–Bradley Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: long time mom

Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit?

–Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Teenage boy: Ugh… Why is this place littered with shells?

–Connecticut

Overheard by: anonymous

Teenage girl: I can't wait to get a tattoo on my lower back.
Tween boy #1: Why would you want a tattoo there? How are you going to be able to see it?
Tween boy #2: It's not for her, stupid, it's for the dudes she lets do her in the butt doggy-style.

–St. Simon's Island, Georgia

Overheard by: John

Teenage surfer to dad: You're too old to get high!

–La Jolla, California

Teen #1: So he’s like, "nuh uh," and I’m like, "uh huh," and he’s like, "nuh uh," and I’m like, "um… uh huh," and he’s like, "nuh uh."
Teen #2: No way!
Teen #1: Way.

–Golden Gardens, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Translater Please!

Teen girl #1: I thought you hated bikinis.
Teen girl #2: I do.
Teen girl #1: Why are you wearing one?
Teen girl #2: Because even though I look fat in it, guys don’t look at you if you’re in tankinis.
Teen girl #1: But it’s okay for them to see your fat.
Teen girl #2: At least this way you look, and if you catch it on time, you just suck in!

–Vineyard Haven, Massachusetts

Overheard by: bikinibabe

20-something: You have no imagination.
Teenage brother: Masturbators have more imagination than you!

–Midland Beach, New York

Overheard by: Mr Puff Nubbins

Teen girl to giggly friend: Well, it's not my favorite thing to have that kind of shit in my mouth.

–Lido Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Alyssa

Teen to group of college students: Hey… What are you guys up to?
College student: Playing hide-and-seek.
Teen: Well, I was looking to get high, but that works too…

–Encinitas, California

Overheard by: Actually was playing hide and seek