Stupidity

Chick: Fifteen hundred isn’t a lot. That’s like a thousand… and five hundred.

–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Alexis

Toddler pointing to cotton candy: I want that ice cream!
Mom: That’s not ice cream.
Toddler: What is it?
Mom: That’s insulation. It’s for your attic.

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Aaron

Woman, putting lotion on man's back: How long have your parents been married?
Man: A long time: 25 or 30 years…
Woman: So your parents got married after you were born?
Man: No.
Woman: But you're 40! Okay, now you're scaring me. I just spilled half the bottle of lotion on your back. That would be 3.5 ounces. I'd explain it to you but you wouldn't understand.

–Fort De Soto Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ishkabibble

Big jock: We just need to give America back to the Muslims.

–Barceloneta Beach, Barcelona, Spain

Overheard by: Confesed Passerby

Wrestler #1: The other day I went in the water, and I forgot my cell phone was in my pocket. It doesn’t work anymore.
Wrestler #2: Was it on?
Wrestler #1: Yes.
Wrestler #2: Well, you should have turned it off before you went in!

–The Black Sea

Bimbette: What is it about the beach that attracts sunlight?
Guy: Attracts sunlight?
Bimbette: Yeah, it’s always sunnier at the beach.
Guy: Uh, maybe you need to sit in the shade for a while.

–Sandy Point State Park, Maryland

Guy #1: Hey, what if you had a donkey? Haha.
Guy #2: Yeah, if I had a donkey. Haha. If I had a donkey and you had a rooster, haha.
Guy #1: Exactly.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Ditz #1: She was drinking a soda, and it wasn’t even diet.
Ditz #2: You’re fucking kidding me. It wasn’t diet?

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: awesome teyie

11-year-old Korean boy to 11-year-old Egyptian boy: You live in pyramid and you mummy!

–Christchurch, New Zealand

Overheard by: novalis

Tween #1: So, like, what did you eat in Africa?
Tween #2: Like rice and stuff.
Tween #1: Like white rice or brown rice?
Tween #2: White rice.
Tween #1: Like, ew. You can get so fat from that! Oh my God, is that why those Africans in those picture you have, have huge bellies?
Tween #2: You are beyond retarded!

–Second Beach, Newport, Rhode Island