Stupidity

Tourist: How do I get to the beach?
Local #1: Get on the 8 and go east.
Tourist: Thanks.
(tourist leaves)
Local #2: You're sending her east.
Local #1: Fuck her, she didn't say which beach.

–Pacific Beach, California

Obnoxiously drunk ho as she leans on bro for support: Don't even think about thinking!

–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California

Girl throwing rock over her head: Look, Mom! I’m going to build a jail!

–Mentor Headlands Beach, Mentor, Ohio

Overheard by: Pale Kid

30-something mom dragging toddler down path: What do you mean your legs hurt? You're four years old! My legs don't even hurt and I'm like three times your age!

–Bay Shore, Long Island, New York

American: Hey, you're from Australia, right?
Australian: Yeah. I'm just here on holiday.
American: Right. I thought you had an Aussie accent. So you're not familiar with cars, hey? It's all about kangaroos where you come from?
Australian, laughing: Yep… that's right.

–California

Woman, smacking her son over the head: Don’t hit your friends!

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Herbie McHebrew

Girl #1: She wants me to move to Philadelphia after college, because she has family in Pennsylvania and she wants to visit me.
Girl #2: Why would she want you to move to Philadelphia and not Pennsylvania?

–Palm City, Florida

Overheard by: MBD

Girl #1: I'm hungry, let's get crepes!
Girl #2: What's a crepe?
Girl #1, after pause: It's like a package made out of a pancake.

–Santa Barbara, California

American girl #1: You know what I want to get while I’m here in India? A Sherpa. That would be so cool.
American girl #2: What’s a Sherpa?
American girl #1: It’s, like, a people endemic to the Himalayas. You can buy one, and they carry your stuff for you.
American girl #2: Oooh, that sounds nice!

–Goa, India

Overheard by: Wish I were Canadian

Dude #1: That cloud over the moon looks like the number three! Dude, that is crazy!
Dude #2: Why is that crazy?
Dude #1: Because that was Dale Earnhardt’s number. It’s like he’s speaking to me!

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Overheard by: Gambitgirl