Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing
Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing
Dad, about bald passerby: That guy is really bald!
Daughter: Dad, you have more hair on your butt than your head.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Ryan
Eight‐year‐old boy to valet fetching a car outside a fancy restaurant: You run like an idiot!
Mom: Quiet, dear, he is just a car parking guy.
–Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ashley
Angry father, trying to climb into boat with son: Turn off the fucking engine, man! I’ve got a fucking five‐year‐old here! Jesus, use your fucking head!
–The Hamptons, New York
Young kid: Awww look, you were right. Now I don’t get to punch you.
–Vero Beach, Florida
Upset teenage daughter to mother: Mom, I can’t have sugar! (pause) What is “creme brulee,” anyways?
–Huntington Beach, California
Mom (exasperatedly): Come on children, you guys going to give me heart failure!
Six‐year‐old: You going to give yourself heart failure, cause you wouldn’t leave us alone.
–Bridgetown, Barbados
Little kid to mom, as storm is coming: If thunder claps while you’re in the water, you’re gonna die!
–Pawley’s Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Running for Cover
Mother, holding one son in the ocean and calling another on shore: See? The water’s fantastic. You have nothing to worry about.
Four‐year‐old son, crying: I don’t want to die here!
–Palm Beach, Aruba
Man: Come back in the water with me.
Boy: No. You tried to drown me! You almost killed me!
Man: Well. You shouldn’t have kicked me.
Boy: Kickin’ someone in the ding‐dong ain’t gonna kill them.
Man: It might.
–Destin, Florida
