By Lying on Our Backs and Waving Our Legs in the Air

Toddler: Mom, we are the hermit crabs that are going to change the world.

–Monterey, California

Posted on August 13, 2023
Animals, California, Kids, Moms, Nature, Weirdness

…Go Play with That Shiny Medical Waste, Becky.

Little girl, getting to beach: Wow, look! Sea shells! I'm gonna find a real one today!
Mom and dad, disinterested: Mm-hmm…

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Posted on August 4, 2023
Family, Kids, Nature, Parents, Wishes

You, Not So Much

Teen girl #1: The sand is so hot!
Teen girl #2: That’s why God put the sand near the water.
Teen girl #1: God was a genius!

–Fair Haven Beach, New York

Overheard by: Jane

Posted on August 1, 2023
Compliments, Default, Girls, Gripes, Idiots, Nature, New York, Religion, Teens

Also What God Was Going for

Young boy, sitting in water and throwing wet sand around: I'm going to bury the beach in sand!

–Patricia Beach, Manitoba, Canadia

Overheard by: think I can say

Posted on July 24, 2023
Canadia, Kids, Nature, Stupidity, Wishes

You Should Start a Support Group.

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!

–Naples, Florida