Nature

…Go Play with That Shiny Medical Waste, Becky.

Little girl, getting to beach: Wow, look! Sea shells! I'm gonna find a real one today!
Mom and dad, disinterested: Mm-hmm…

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

You, Not So Much

Teen girl #1: The sand is so hot!
Teen girl #2: That’s why God put the sand near the water.
Teen girl #1: God was a genius!

–Fair Haven Beach, New York

Overheard by: Jane

Also What God Was Going for

Young boy, sitting in water and throwing wet sand around: I'm going to bury the beach in sand!

–Patricia Beach, Manitoba, Canadia

Overheard by: think I can say

You Should Start a Support Group.

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!

–Naples, Florida

About As Plausible As a Sea Cow

Girl #1, looking at sand dunes: Look! A rabbit!
Girl #2: Rabbits can't breath under water.
Girl #3: Sea hare!

–Salt Mantra, NSW Australia

To Only Do It at Night?

Mother to son: What did he tell you about playing on his mound?

–Riis Park Beach, New York

Overheard by: Britt

He Taught His Sons Semaphore So He'd Never Have to Walk on Sand Again

Tourist dad: Great communication, guys. Now I had to walk out here and get my feet all sandy.

–Ogunquit, Maine

So Stay in the Car or Stay in the Water

Mom to child: Now, don’t get all sandy!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Emily

You Mean Emo? Because That's Not Rock

Dude: I’m looking for a rock that represents me.

–Sandy Neck Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Katherine

Take It Up with God, Lady.

Tourist: What time is high tide today?
Lifeguard: I think it's around 6:30.
Tourist: Why don't you just have it at the same time every day?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

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