14-year-old boy, looking at tide chart: Dude, I don’t get it! High tide is at 9:55 p.m., but this place closes at eight!
–Crescent Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Kevin and Elissa
Lifeguard: Yo! The beach ain't no good! I said the beach ain't no good today! (sees attractive woman walking toward the beach) Hey there, listen, the beach isn't good today, okay?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Nikki
Five-year-old urchin: Look how much birds there is.
New York yuppie #1: Um…
New York yuppie #2: Yeah, I hard it too.
–Mini Golf Course, North Wildwod, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Girl on the beach: The sand is burning my feet, and I love it!
Friend: There's bird crap on my beach chair, and I love it!
–Sanibel Island, Florida
Man #1: What kind of clouds are those?
Man #2: Ambidextrous.
Man #1: Oh, yeah. Ambidextrous.
–Corolla, North Carolina
Overheard by: James
Tourist: How do they get the sand so white? Do they bleach it or something?
Local: We wash it every day.
–Tulum, Mexico
Overheard by: Tulumbum
Young woman: I think Grandma’s looking down on us from heaven.
Old lady: I hear that’s a nice place.
Young woman: I’ve been there — it’s awesome!
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Robin M.
Aunt, looking up at the stars: What is that?
Nephew: Is this the southern or northern hemisphere?
Aunt (giggling): I have no idea.
Cousin, without looking up : That's Orion. You can see Meissa, the star at the top, that's its head. The really bright one is Rigel, that's supposed to be the knee. If you follow the constellation downwards you'll see Sirius.
(blank dumbfounded looks)
Cousin: That's, um, where the aliens from V come from.
Aunt, completely understanding : Ohhhh!
–Beaches of Koh Sumet, Thailand
Husband, excited at seeing a washed up, dead whale: Carla? Do you remember how excited you were when you saw that deer? Well, wait ’til you see this!
–Fernandina Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Katred
