Nature

Lifeguard on megaphone: Attention, beach-goers, due to the sunset, you must get out in 5 minutes or else we will turn the waves off.
Girl: Oh my God! Is he serious?!

–Huntington Beach, California

Stoned guy #1: Look at the moon, its all halfy and shit.
Stoned guy #2: You said it in a tone like you're in a Frankenstein movie.

–Near the Cannal, Serbia

Overheard by: Uros Jovanovic

Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.

–East Hampton, New York

Overheard by: I'll never swim again

Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.

–East Hampton, New York

Overheard by: I'll never swim again

Little boy running down the beach: Mother nature's gone all wrong!

–Santa Monica Beach, California

Overheard by: LilRedSeaglass

Little boy pointing to portabella mushroom: Mommy, what’s that?
Tired mother: It’s a mushroom. Someday I’m going to make you a hamburger for dinner, but instead of meat, it’s going to have one of those mushrooms in it.
Little boy looking back at mushroom, terrified: Why would you do that?!

–Beachside Produce Plus, Melbourne Beach, Florida

Tourist: What happened to the beach? It's like…buried in sand!

–Mantoloking Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Shanna

Old cougar: It was good ole fashioned hanky panky. Fun, but definitely not worth all the sand that got up there.

–Canadia

Bikini blonde #1: I'm not dumb, I'm on vacation.
Bikini blonde #2: The ocean makes me wet.

–Varadero, Cuba

Overheard by: beach ginger

Idiot dad: You know they import all this sand from Florida, that's why it's so soft.
Idiot son: Yeah, I've heard that too.

–Newcomb Hollow Beach, Wellfleet, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Alana Geary