Names

Seven-year-old: Dude, your sister needs hotter friends.
Friend: Well, there's the blond one.
Seven-year-old: What's her name?
Friend: I forget.
Seven-year-old: Dude! If they're hot, you remember their names!

–Ocean Beach, New Jersey

Enraptured girl, watching sunset with boyfriend: I just love it when the sun sinks into the sea like this! But I have a question…
Boy: Huh? What?
Girl, turning serious: Why doesn't the sea boil?

–Kauai, Hawaii

Man, running as fast as he can across sand, screaming like a maniac: Molly! Molly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, running as fast as he can across sand, screaming like a maniac: Molly! Molly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, finding Molly sitting quietly: Oh, there you are.

–Lewes Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: maybe next time, take Molly with you

Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.

–Virginia Beach

Redneck lady coming out of a liquor store: She must have been drunk when she named her kid “Jose Cuervo”.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Man #1: What kind of clouds are those?
Man #2: Ambidextrous.
Man #1: Oh, yeah. Ambidextrous.

–Corolla, North Carolina

Overheard by: James

Gay guy, after boy holds his hand: Ooooh! I finally get a little PDA!
Chick: Ew! TMI! Who's little Petey? Why would you name it that?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: aoK

Dude: That’s why they call me ‘the Titanic.’
Chick: They don’t call you ‘the Titanic.’

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Ana

Druggie hipster #1 to friend out of earshot: Hey! Hey, you! Hey! Come here!
Druggie hipster #2: Ugh, what’s her name? Come here! Hey!
Black guy passerby: Hey, white bitch!

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Audra

Chick #1: You were a complete whore last night.
Chick #2: Look who’s talking! Do I have to mention the time you let Derek go down on you?
Chick #1: Bitch! That guy over there can hear you!
Chick #2: So what?
Chick #1: Listen to how you’re talking about me and my brother. He’s gonna think I’m a complete skank!
Chick #2: I said Derek. He didn’t know who the fuck Derek was until you opened your fuckin’ mouth.
Chick #1: Uh, yeah, I guess you’re right…

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Overheard by: That guy over there