Names

Girl to friend: I'm going to name one of my friends Jew and the other one Hitler, so it would be like Family Feud.

–Tampa, Florida

Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not?

–Plum Island, Massachusetts

Scene girl to friend: Hey, Ana!
Friend, yelling: Call me by my MySpace name!
Scene girl, sighing: Fine. (pause) Hey, AnaAutomaticAssaultUnicorn!

–Tampa, Florida

Jock #1: Did you see him at the party last night? I mean, what the hell?
Jock #2: Dude, he’s such a fag.
Jock #1: I heard he swallows.
Jock #2: What’s his name again?
Jock #1: Eric.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Young boy: Your uncle peed on Mikey last night!

–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California

Little boy: Was that lady a ‘he’ or a ‘she’?

–Hilo, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gwen

Customer: Can I have a Stella [Artois]?
Bartender: Ermm… She's not working today.

–Pool Bar, Ayia Napa, Cyprus

Blonde teen: You know that woman we saw at Ikea last year, the one that was like, massively, explosively pregnant?
Brunette teen: Yeah?
Blonde teen: Well I've been wondering…
Brunette teen: If she's had her baby yet?
Blonde teen: No, I wonder if she named her baby “Ikea.”

–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Jedda

Spring breaker bimbette #1, about ordering drinks: And get Coco Rico, and Sex on the Beach…
Spring breaker bimbette #2, interrupting: Wait, isn't there also something called Sex in the Basement?

–Tamarindo, Costa Rica

Overheard by: one of them spoke decent Spanish, at least

Six-year-old girl (about book on Obama): That's our new President!
Teen: Yeah, do you know what his name is?
Six-year-old girl: Martin Luther King!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: tori