Then That Toast You Made Me for Breakfast Was All Lies?

Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French!

–Ocean Beach, New Jersey

Posted on November 21, 2024
Advice, Bathing suits, Clothes, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Physical Appearance

While She Slept, the Bush Fairy Shaved It Into a Heart Shape

Daughter: You’re sticking out, mom.
Mother: What’s sticking out?
Daughter: Your pubic hair.
Mother: Is it gray?
Daughter: Um, no, not really.
Mother: I’m gonna take a nap.

–Destin, Florida

Overheard by: Hard not to laugh out loud

Posted on November 13, 2024
Body parts, Florida, Girls, Gripes, Moms, Questions

She Has No Idea How Awkward Her First Sexual Experience Is Going to Be

Teen girl: I can’t believe I’m drunk! I’m drunk! In Italy! I am 17 and drunk. Oh yeah, and I’m with my parents! The first time I’m drunk, in a foreign country, under 21, with you people, and I’m in Italy?
Teen girl’s mother: It is better this way. At least you are with people who care.

–Nova Siri, Italy

Overheard by: only other american in the place

Posted on November 5, 2024
Comebacks, Drinking, Drunks, Europe, Family, Geography, Girls, Gripes, Moms, Teens

Which Explains Why You Saw Me Debriefing One in the Shower

Woman, to young son: No, honey, mommy has two attorneys.

–Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Lotte

Posted on October 29, 2024
Family, Kids, Moms, New York, Weirdness

You are No Son of Mine

Little boy: What’s a ‘shindig’?
Mom: It’s like a party.
Little boy: Oh, okay.
Mom: It’s like a big, southern party. In Texas. Yee-haw!
Little boy: Yee-haw?

–Lake Michigan, Holland, Michigan

Overheard by: BAB

Posted on October 17, 2024
Geography, Kids, Moms, Questions, Words

And Ladies Refer to It as 'Down Under'

Girl: Mummy, do you have a hairy pee?
Mummy: Make sure you never ask that again, especially when we have guests over for dinner.

–Manly Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: ohgodhaha

Posted on October 14, 2024
Australia, Default, Gripes, Hair, Kids, Moms, Questions, Vagina

Paul Revere: Everybody Gets That Wrong

15-year-old to mother and sister: Two for the pink, one for the stink.
Mother, laughing: Who taught you that?
15-year-old: Dad.

–Boat in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii

Overheard by: Pro Forced Sterilization

Posted on October 9, 2024
Ass, Family, Hawaii, Masturbating, Moms, Questions, Teens, Vagina, Weirdness

10 Dollars Cancels Out a Lot of Strange

Mother: Danny, go ask those people for a lighter.
Son: Why, Mom?
Mother: So I can light my smoke, baby.
Son: I’m not your baby, and no! They are strange.
Mother: I’ll give you ten bucks.
Son: Okay!

–Shark’s Cove, Oahu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Hope