Guys

Boy: You should have come out last night! It was the best pub crawl ever!
Girl: Yeah? Which pub crawl was it?
Boy's girlfriend, unimpressed: It wasn't a pub crawl. It was just him… going to a lot of pubs… by himself.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Black chick walks by two white guys on the beach.

White guy #1: She is pretty hot. I’m gonna go talk to her.
White guy #2: Chicks like that always have some huge black dude waiting to beat your ass for looking at them.
White guy #1: I can tell she dates white men.
White guy #2: How?
White guy #1: Her tits are fake.

–South Beach, Florida

Overheard by: PS

Man outside single bathroom door: Wolf breath, what are you doing in there?
Woman, from inside bathroom: What the fuck do you think I'm doing in here? What the fuck do you do in the bathroom?
Man outside bathroom: Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Lisa Mavinelli

30-something Guido to pretty girl: Hey. I hear you're looking for a stud. I've got the STD, all I need is “u.”

–Pacific Beach, California

(after a person in a full Elmo suit was chased down the beach)
Guy #1: Elmo was a lady!
Guy #2: Elmo is a bitch.

–Coney Island, New York

Guy holding small boy: Well, I don't think it's funny when you do things that you don't do!

–Presque Isle, Erie, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kat

Girl to boy: Look at the sea otters! So romantic! …touch my breasts.

–Tacoma, Washington

Loud man on cell, walking across bridge: So I just said, “I want it all! I want to see it all!”
60-year-old woman to teenage granddaughter: That's what she said.

–Balboa, California

Bro to another: It's the government, bro. They're putting LSD in our oceans.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: mar

Random guy to little boy: Hey, you have fun today?
Little boy: Yeah, sure, but I still haven't found those crabs.

–Hilo, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gwen