Dude #1: Dude, why on earth do you keep fucking her if you think she’s so disgusting? Is her pussy, like, made of gold or something?
Dude #2: No, her pussy’s made of cocaine.
–San Francisco, California
Dude #1: Dude, why on earth do you keep fucking her if you think she’s so disgusting? Is her pussy, like, made of gold or something?
Dude #2: No, her pussy’s made of cocaine.
–San Francisco, California
Dumb girl talking to small group of friends: Only famous people use Twitter.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Janelle
Drinking dude: He was a cool guy until he pissed in the closet.
–Long Beach, New York
Girl #1: I get so many freckles in the sun.
Girl #2: Yeah, I am so going to get cancer in 2 years. I have so much sun damage.
Girl #3: Um, actually freckles just mean that your skin is working.
–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Jackie
Guido in wife beater and jeans halfway down his ass: Anal sex hurts me.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Bike kid #1: Where are you going? The girls are coming right back!
Bike kid #2: I’m going to get gum.
Bike kid #1 to bike kid #3: We’re never bringing him to fucking Wawa again!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: DennyCrane
Jersey woman, to seagull: Get away, you lazy sonofabitch! Go find your own food! [to friends] Just like Mexicans.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Dan
Boy to girl, behind trees: I’m running out of things to put in there!
–St. George Island, Florida
Overheard by: Shocked and disturbed
Mom to 13-year-old son: What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born this stupid?
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.
–Fort Macon, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
