Little girl: No, no, no. Mommy calls her vagina a monkey.
–St George Island, Florida
Overheard by: say what?
Chick #1: Hey, have you heard of those Rice Krispie treats? They’re awesome. They should so make a cereal out of those or something!
Chick #2: You dumbass, they are cereal!
Chick #1: Oh…
–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: i like rice krispies
Girl #1: We need shade. I don't want to get burned.
Girl #2: Wha'd she say?
Girl #3: She says she's gonna be a little bitch.
–Playa Mia, Mexico
Overheard by: Peeto
70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?
–Palm Coast, Florida
Chick #1: You know what would be the hardest job in the world?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: To emcee a fashion show. Oh my god, that must be so hard.
Chick #2: Oh, yeah.
–Capitola, California
Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…
–Tampa, Florida
Girl #1: What did you do to get community service?
Girl #2: My cousin set me up with this guy. She said “he's cute, he 18.” He was 15.
–Nahant, Massachusetts
Ditz: Do you still tan if you don’t lie down?
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: the imbiber
Boundary-Conscious chick: Oh my God, why is that seagull here? I thought this was a private beach!
–Westhampton Beach, New York
Blond overtanned guy: Wow, I would rather like to be laying on the beach in Spain right now!
Blond overtanned girl: Yeah, and we could like drive down to Mexico and stuff!
Blond overtanned guy: Hmm…no. You don't drive down to Mexico from Spain…
Blond overtanned girl: Oh! Wrong direction? Is it to the left?
–Nauthólsvík Beach, Iceland
Overheard by: the guy who wishes he wasn't blonde
