Food

Surfer dude: Dude, you just don’t know how long a foot is until you see it in a hot dog.

–Mission Bay Beach, San Diego, California

Four-year-old boy, winding up long conversation: And so that's why spiders live in your eyeballs. They play in the blood and love to drink dirty water. (pause) Can I have a snack?

–Santa Barbara, California

Woman #1: And I gave him the cheese. Then he said he'd kill me. And he told me exactly how he'd kill me.
Woman #2: That's horrible!

–Miami, Florida

Overheard by: …what?

Kid #1: They put pears in my room. Did they put pears in your room?
Kid #2: Yeah, but they were horrible. They tasted like chocolate.
Kid #3: Do you mean they tasted like chalk?
Kid #2: Yeah.
Kid #1: Wait, how do you know what chalk tastes like?

–British Virgin Islands

Overheard by: A chocolate pear would be nice

Chick #1: Hey, have you heard of those Rice Krispie treats? They’re awesome. They should so make a cereal out of those or something!
Chick #2: You dumbass, they are cereal!
Chick #1: Oh…

–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: i like rice krispies

Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…

–Tampa, Florida

Teen girl: We don't eat souvlakis. My dad hates Mexican food.

–Brighton Beach, Australia

40-year-old woman to friend: Yeah, they told me I can only have solid liquids for a week.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Man on cell: What? What’s up with the banana skirt? How come I don’t get a banana skirt?

–Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii

Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mandy