Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…
–Tampa, Florida
Girl to friends: You know what tastes great? Scrambled chicken abortions…
–Tampa, Florida
40-year-old woman to friend: Yeah, they told me I can only have solid liquids for a week.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Man on cell: What? What’s up with the banana skirt? How come I don’t get a banana skirt?
–Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii
Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
Dumb meatheads to dumb girls: So we’ve got triscuits and flavor-blasted goldfish back at our condo if you want to come with us.
–Siesta Beach, Florida
Son: These are pretty good.
Dad: Yeah, they’re not bad if you soak them in your mouth like sausage.
–Nauset Light Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith
Woman: I’m starving! Let’s go get something at Burger King.
Friend: So am I. Hey, did you know that Burger King sells veggie burgers? I just found that out the other day.
Woman: Really? Veggie burgers? What do they use? Like, turkey?
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Man: … So I just walked out of there with two heads of cabbages and a hand full of cash… And I walked up to him and said, ‘Give me that goat!’
–Restaurant, Mammoth, California
