Drunk guy: She’s done more blow than it snowed last year!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
Drunk guy: She’s done more blow than it snowed last year!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
Dad to buddy’s tween daughter: Susie*, can you get me another beer from the cooler?
Susie: Wow, Jerry, you’re an alcoholic.
Dad’s own tween daughter: My dad is not an alcoholic, he just drinks fast!
–Long Island, New York
Drunk dude: Seal! Come drink with us!
–Nantucket, Massachusetts
Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That's why I love South Beach. It's gay, gay, gay!
–Lincoln Road, Florida
Overheard by: David
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Drunk teen guy: If I had a vag, I'd totally stick drugs and shit up there!
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: I have one, but I don't
Random, possibly drunk lady at bar: 1, 2, 3, 4, who do we appreciate?
–Thai Restaurant, Honolulu, Hawaii
Drunk guy #1: You keep condoms and stamps in your wallet?
Drunk guy #2: Yeah.
Drunk guy #1: So what are you gonna do, bang her and send her a thank you note?
–Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Well, it WOULD be a nice gesture…
Drunk mother: So, do… When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight… What the fuck is that kid’s name…?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell…? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You’re holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up later. [Baby in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.
–Beach campground, Mindon, Ontario, Canadia
