Wife: Murray! Cover up! Your business is hanging out of your bathing suit!
Husband, nonplussed: That business closed down years ago.
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Larry
Guy: You look really hot in that bikini.
Girl #1: I’m not really in the mood for flirting today so why don’t you just buy me a lemon ice, I’ll pretend I like you, and we’ll both be on our way.
Guy, as he walks away: Bitch.
Girl #2, walking up to her: Wasn’t that your boyfriend?
Girl #1: Yeah. I’m so tired of him being a dick all the time.
Guy comes back with a lemon ice.
–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Batwon
Guy: You look really hot in that bikini.
Girl #1: I’m not really in the mood for flirting today so why don’t you just buy me a lemon ice, I’ll pretend I like you, and we’ll both be on our way.
Guy, as he walks away: Bitch.
Girl #2, walking up to her: Wasn’t that your boyfriend?
Girl #1: Yeah. I’m so tired of him being a dick all the time.
Guy comes back with a lemon ice.
–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Batwon
Boyfriend, offering a sip of shake: Here, have some.
Girlfriend: No, I’m okay.
Boyfriend: Have some, it’s protein!
Girlfriend: No! I’ll just suck your dick later.
Boyfriend: [Silence.]
–South Beach Florida
Burly guy: One good thing about this trip: at least it ain’t Jersey.
Girlfriend: Jersey’s not that bad!
Burly guy: Easy for you to say, there’s not a warrant out for you there.
–Revere Beach, Revere, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Staying far away from this guy…
Old lady, walking with husband: I don't really understand the problem. I mean, I throw more parties than the college kids!
–Pennfield Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Meg
Boy: You should have come out last night! It was the best pub crawl ever!
Girl: Yeah? Which pub crawl was it?
Boy's girlfriend, unimpressed: It wasn't a pub crawl. It was just him… going to a lot of pubs… by himself.
–Gold Coast, Australia
Girlfriend: Some of my favorite times are lying on the beach with my head in your lap.
Boyfriend: Yeah, a lot of my favorite times involve your head in my crotch, too.
–The Point, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Greg P
Black tween girl to girlfriend on cell: It's mad hot out, you deported Dominican.
–Bergen Beach, New York
Overheard by: its not THAT hot out
