Chick: Nothing is getting in my ass!
Dude: Not even a pinky?
Chick: Not even a pinky!
–Huntington Beach, California
Chick: Nothing is getting in my ass!
Dude: Not even a pinky?
Chick: Not even a pinky!
–Huntington Beach, California
(built dude in super-tight white spandex shorts roller blades past a group of hipsters on bicycles)
Biking ironic hipster to girlfriend: Woah. Did you just see that sweet penis?
–North Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kara Lang
Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you're having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?
–Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.
20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!
–Michigan
Drunk New Year’s reveller, at 5 AM: Morning has broken, like the first…
Girlfriend: Shut up!
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
Honeymooning hubby: Honey, do you want a drink?
Absentminded wifey, reading: Sure.
Honeymooning hubby: Do you want a sandwich?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Honeymooning hubby, exasperated: Will you give me a massage?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Attractive blonde stranger: I’ll give you a massage, hottie.
Absentminded wifey, looking up from her book: Back off, he’s mine [she goes back to her book].
Honeymooning hubby, whispering to blonde: So… Can I meet you later, then?
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: eager ears
Nagging wife on bicycle to defeated downtrodden husband on bicycle: The more I talk to you, the more my stomach is getting aggravated… 'cause you're an asshole!
–South Beach Boardwalk, New York
Overheard by: J9 and G-Rod
Wifey: I mean, just stop staring at her vagina!
–Cedar Beach, West Islip, Long Island
Overheard by: Indecent Exposure?
Wife: Do you want any sauce?
Husband: No, just ketchup for my fries.
Wife: Ketchup *is* a sauce!
Husband: No, tartar sauce is a sauce. Ketchup is just ketchup.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
