Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach.
–Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Suburban tourist #1: Remember that time when I threw the cat out in the snow and that guy was staring at me?
Suburban tourist #2: And then John got christened by the cat.
Suburban tourist #1: Yeah, I don't think that cat had peed in six months. It was like a fire hose.
Wife: That John and his temper…
–All Day Breakfast, Kennebunkport, Maine
Overheard by: Amused Locals
Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach.
–Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Chick: Nothing is getting in my ass!
Dude: Not even a pinky?
Chick: Not even a pinky!
–Huntington Beach, California
(built dude in super-tight white spandex shorts roller blades past a group of hipsters on bicycles)
Biking ironic hipster to girlfriend: Woah. Did you just see that sweet penis?
–North Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kara Lang
Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you're having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?
–Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.
20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!
–Michigan
Drunk New Year’s reveller, at 5 AM: Morning has broken, like the first…
Girlfriend: Shut up!
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
Honeymooning hubby: Honey, do you want a drink?
Absentminded wifey, reading: Sure.
Honeymooning hubby: Do you want a sandwich?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Honeymooning hubby, exasperated: Will you give me a massage?
Absentminded wifey: Whatever.
Attractive blonde stranger: I’ll give you a massage, hottie.
Absentminded wifey, looking up from her book: Back off, he’s mine [she goes back to her book].
Honeymooning hubby, whispering to blonde: So… Can I meet you later, then?
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: eager ears
