Guy #1: So, I think I’m going to ask Catherine* to marry me next weekend.
Guy #2: Where you going to get married?
Guy #1: Does a man who’s about to jump off a building worry about where they’ll bury the body?
–Bobcaygeon, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Keith
Tween in one-piece: Amber’s parents let her wear a bikini.
Dad: But her parents love her.
Teen brother: No, they don’t. She’s just a 10-year-old slut.
–Lake Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: Jenny
Group of valley girls, giggling: So you’re bisexual, right?
Girl with piercings and multi-colored hair: Ummm… Yeah…?
Group of valley girls: So, what does that mean?!
Girl with piercings and multi-colored hair: Holy shit… Okay, you know what? Go ask your preacher.
–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: shutterbug
Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?
Annoying girl: Yeah, I do… You can't have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)
Guy: Ew! I don't want that! It's titty gum.
Annoying girl: It's not titty gum.
Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.
Guy: Is it in your titties?
Brunette girl, looking down shirt. Nope.
Guy: Okay!
–Canadia
Teen girl #1: Oh, I’m so happy for Candice!* She finally has a normal boyfriend!
Teen girl #2: Oh, that’s nice…Wait, is it that 29-year-old E dealer you guys met at that rave in Chilliwack?
Teen girl #1: Yes!
Long pause.
Teen girl #1: Well, it’s normal for her, I guess.
–English Bay, Vancouver, British Columbia
Little boy #1: You can’t do it.
Little boy #2: Yes, I can.
Little boy #1: Fine! Steal my soul.
Little boy #2: Don’t underestimate my powers.
–The Grotto, Tobermory, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Lorraine
Woman: I am talking, and you are farting. That’s nice!
–Balmy Beach, Toronto, Ontario
Overheard by: nfh
