Canadia

Woman to husband, pointing at fat girl: Is she pregnant?
Husband: I don't know.
Woman: I'll ask Beth, Beth knows everything.

–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia

World’s best wife: Honey, twelve o’clock.
Clueless husband: Huh? No, it’s not. It’s two-thirty.
World’s best wife: I mean twelve o’clock.
Clueless husband: I don’t get you.
World’s best wife: Look straight ahead.
Clueless husband: Why?
World’s best wife: Look at the hot chick right in front of you! Look! Look!
Clueless husband: Oh!…Niiice.

–Grand Beach, Manitoba

Foreign single father: So, are you guys having fun at the beach?
Son: Actually, yeah — it’s fun.
Foreign single father: Next time, have positive attitude from the start.
Son: No, that was ’cause before when you said, ‘Let’s go to the beach,’ I thought we were gonna visit Mom.

–Lake Erie, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: native english speaker

Annoyingly loud blonde: You did it in the ocean?!

–Olde Angel Inn Pub, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canadia

Hot dad: No, it's because I prefer other foods.
Small boy clinging to his back: Like people poopy?

–Vancouver Sea Walk, Canada

Overheard by: Rosie

Blonde girl: Oh… I had sex with your brother last night.
Brunette girl: Oh, yeah?
Blonde girl: He has a huge cock.
Brunette girl: Oh my god! I know!
Blonde girl: Too bad he has herpes.
Brunette girl: I know…

–Burlington Beach, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Alrighty…..

20-something girl #1: So everyone thinks that Nate gave Aric that hickey last night when they were joking around in the kitchen, and Brandon is kinda mad now, he already told Nate not to give other boys hickeys anymore.
20-something girl #2: Oh, poor Brandon, why does Nate do that?
20-something girl #1: Oh, that so wasn't what I was talking about, Nate didn't even do it!
20-something girl #2: What? How else would Aric have gotten it then? After the kitchen thing we all went to bed, didn't we?
20-something girl #1: Yes…
20-something girl #2: Wait, where did Aric sleep last night?
20-something girl #1: Um.
20-something girl #2: It was you! You hickeyed Aric! What are you, twelve?

–Sauble Beach, Ontario, Canada

Jogging man to jogging woman: I still have a jiggling six-pack.

–English Bay, Vancouver, Canadia

Overheard by: if it's jiggling, it ain't no six-pack

Young boy, sitting in water and throwing wet sand around: I'm going to bury the beach in sand!

–Patricia Beach, Manitoba, Canadia

Overheard by: think I can say

40-something woman: You're from Turkey? What language do they speak there?
Turkish guy: Uh… Turkish.
40-something woman: There's a language called Turkish? Really? Do a lot of people speak it?
Turkish guy: Well, yeah, more than a thousand years ago in central Asia…
40-something woman, interrupting: Chinese people speak Turkish? I didn't know that!

–Vancouver, Canadia