California

Frat boy: … And I don’t really know what happened! All of a sudden I was in an orgy… And you know what? It wasn’t even all that good.

–Pacific Beach, California

Tourist looking across bay: Is that Hawaii?
Passerby: Yeah. There’s a boat that comes by every half hour to bring people there.
Tourist: Thanks. Hey, honey! We’re going to Hawaii!

–Wharf, Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: El Blingo

20-something girl: Guys, did you see the man in the woman's swimsuit over there?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, yeah, I saw him…
20-something girl: He has man legs…
Teen girl #1: But from a distance he could totally pass as a flat chick.
20-something girl: He can really pull it off, too. He has the hat and the glasses and everything.
Teen girl #2: Where's the tranny man? I want to see the tranny man!

–La Jolla, California

Overheard by: La Jollan

Heavy sweaty chick, yelling across store at friends: My sweat smells like beer!

–Surf Shop, Laguna Beach, California

Excited teenage girl on cell: Dude, that’s so beat!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Tim

Chick getting tattoo on her foot: That hurts!
Guy tattoo-ing her: It wouldn’t hurt so much if you weren’t wearing tie-dye.

–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California

French girl to flirty teenage boy: You are very cute, yes, but I am 23.
Teenage boy: Really?
French girl: Yes.
Teenage boy: Dammit.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Her American Cousin

Worker #1: Did you just fart?
Worker #2: No, I belched.

–Solana Beach, California

Busty tan blonde in yellow bikini, surrounded by 8 beautiful gay men drinking champagne and smoking pot: I mean, we should really just take a picture of this, and put it on a postcard: “Welcome to Venice Beach, bitches.”

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: TheLurker

Dude #1: Dude, why on earth do you keep fucking her if you think she’s so disgusting? Is her pussy, like, made of gold or something?
Dude #2: No, her pussy’s made of cocaine.

–San Francisco, California