12-year-old boy to boogie boarding pal: You just did a 360! That was so awesome! We should all give you blowjobs for that! Even your brother!
Friend: Dude, you are so gay.

–Monterey Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith

Tween #1: Ohmigod. It’s soooo sandy.
Tween #2: Um, it’s a beach.
Random old man: Damn teeny boppers.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: I hate shoobies.

Tween boy #1: Dude, I’m gonna cleave the beaver.
Tween boy #2: When?
Tween boy #1: Tonight.
Tween boy #2: Sweet. You’ll have to tell me how the beaver tastes.
Passerby: Do you even know what a beaver is?
Tween boy #2: Yeah, it’s an animal, stupid.

–Beaver Island State Park, Grand Island, New York

Black tween girl to girlfriend on cell: It's mad hot out, you deported Dominican.

–Bergen Beach, New York

Overheard by: its not THAT hot out

Tween in one-piece: Amber’s parents let her wear a bikini.
Dad: But her parents love her.
Teen brother: No, they don’t. She’s just a 10-year-old slut.

–Lake Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canadia

Overheard by: Jenny

Tween girl: Look I can float, and I don’t have big boobs!

–Manasquan Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Jenn

Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Chad

[Three ten-year-old boys cycling past the beach.]Boy #1: Why you going so fast?!
Boy #2: [Missing front teeth, which makes him lisp.] Becauth he wath fucking her latht night!
Boy #3: What?!!!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: They grow up quickly these days!