…With Genocide at a Close Second.

Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you're more tan than you actually are.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Posted on September 24, 2025
Assholes, Body parts, Compare and contrast, Guys, Lies, Maryland, Sunbathing

Trashy Daughter: Well, Then at Least Take Off Your 'Cum Dumpster' Shirt!

Overweight, trashy lady: It’s not hanging out!
Trashy daughter: Mom, yes it is. You can’t wear that kind of suit.
Trashy lady: We just drove two hours to get here, the weather’s not that great, and I can wear a thong if I want to tan my ass whenever I want!

–Rio del Mar, Aptos, California

Overheard by: Melissa

Posted on September 8, 2025
Body parts, California, Girls, Gripes, Moms, Sunbathing, Weather, White trash

Indigenous Australians: Thanks, but We're Not Accepting Recruits

Little boy #1: I'm getting really tanned on this holiday.
Little boy #2: Yeah, you're turning into an aboriginal. When I grow up I want to be an aboriginal like you.

–Batemans Bay, Australia

Posted on August 14, 2025
Australia, Kids, Physical Appearance, Race, Sunbathing, Wishes

Brown?

Guido: I really wanna get a tan today.
Bored girl: Sure.
Guido: Do you think there's enough sun to get a tan today?
Bored girl: I don't know. Maybe.
Guido: Will going in the water help me get a tan?
Bored girl: It might.
Guido: I really wanna get tan.
Bored girl: So where are you going to college?

–Coney Island

Posted on April 29, 2025
Girls, Guys, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Sunbathing, Wishes

It's in the Fine Print on the Coppertone Label

Guy: Yo, where's that sunscreen at?
Girl: You don't need any sunscreen, we're black, we have a natural SPF factor of 8.

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: KL

Posted on November 14, 2024
Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, New York, Questions, Race, Sunbathing

You Know the Rules

Skinny white guy: I think I need to go sit in the shade for a while.
Skinny less-white guy: What?! If you are going to talk crazy, I need you to be drunk.

–Will Rogers Beach, Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Panda

Posted on November 25, 2023
California, Drinking, Skinny people, Stupidity, Sunbathing, White people

Except Freckles and His Friends, Which Is Really Tired

Girl #1: Oh wow, you got so many freckles today!
Guy: Why does everyone keep saying that? Do freckles come from the sun or something?
Girl #2: Um… yeah?
Guy: I just kinda thought they showed up. Like sometimes they're here, and sometimes they're not.
Girl #1: Um, no, it's not random. Like, I ate some cheese, so now I'm freckled.
Girl #2: Or, I'm really freckled cuz I'm tired.

–Paradise Beach, Mykonos, Greece

Overheard by: Jules