Stupidity

Girl #1: What did you do to get community service?
Girl #2: My cousin set me up with this guy. She said “he's cute, he 18.” He was 15.

–Nahant, Massachusetts

Girlfriend: Hey, do you know I heard down in Brazil they, like, mix sand in with their suntan lotion so that it exfoliates their skin?
Boyfriend: That’s fucking stupid.
Girlfriend: Tell me about it! I tried it last year and got a nasty rash. So this year I’m using sand and baby oil.

–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii

Overheard by: Neeri

Ditz: Do you still tan if you don’t lie down?

–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: the imbiber

Boundary-Conscious chick: Oh my God, why is that seagull here? I thought this was a private beach!

–Westhampton Beach, New York

Blond overtanned guy: Wow, I would rather like to be laying on the beach in Spain right now!
Blond overtanned girl: Yeah, and we could like drive down to Mexico and stuff!
Blond overtanned guy: Hmm…no. You don't drive down to Mexico from Spain…
Blond overtanned girl: Oh! Wrong direction? Is it to the left?

–Nauthólsvík Beach, Iceland

Overheard by: the guy who wishes he wasn't blonde

Woman at outdoor restaurant, to waiter: Could you please turn down the air conditioning? I'm cold.

–Waikiki, Hawaii

A+

Girl with textbook: What’s the capital of the United States?
Boy: Washington, DC?
Girl with textbook: How many eggs to a dozen?
Boy: 12?
Girl with textbook: Where are the Jews?
Boy: Long Island?

–New York

Thug #1: It don’t feel like Sunday.
Thug #2: Yo, it don’t feel like a day of the week.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Overheard by: monkeybaba

Teen girl: We don't eat souvlakis. My dad hates Mexican food.

–Brighton Beach, Australia

Girl #1, looking at sand dunes: Look! A rabbit!
Girl #2: Rabbits can't breath under water.
Girl #3: Sea hare!

–Salt Mantra, NSW Australia