Guy #1: What happened to the girl you were seeing in Phoenix?
Guy #2: She broke up with me because I had too much baggage.
Guy #3: Wait! Was that the anorexic/bulimic with depression that was hooked on painkillers and ecstasy?
Guy #2: Yep.
Guy #1: You ever fuck her while she threw up?
Guy #2: You’re a sick fuck. (long pause) Yeah.
Guy #3: There is so much wrong with this conversation.
–Pacific Beach, California
Drunk college student, spilling wine on herself: Oh great. Now I’m wet all over!
Drunk college boy nearby: What! Who said that!?
–Gold Coast, Australia
Skinny girl: Yeah, but why does he always have to spit on me afterwards?
–Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Overheard by: Grossed Out
Girl: I’m so tired.
Boy: Well that’s because you were up all night having sex, and whose fault is that?
Girl: My vagina’s. I can’t control her.
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: yellow mushroom
Middle-aged guy: Nah, it’s never worth it if you don’t get laid. I mean, I could’ve gotten two hookers for that much!
–Lake Calhoun, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: boris the blade
Guy to another: Dude! I had to google “milf”, I didn't know what it meant!
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Old cougar: It was good ole fashioned hanky panky. Fun, but definitely not worth all the sand that got up there.
–Canadia
Girl to friend: It was like crazy monkey sex… and then he just left.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: D
Old woman #1: So did you get that dirty book I was talking about?
Old woman #2: No, I couldn't find it. They don't sell them at Barnes and Noble. I have to look on Amazon.
Old woman #1: The one I read is really graphic. This girl is this room, watching two people doing it.
Old woman #2: Yeah, I'm saving some of them to read on the plane ride.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Overheard by: caySAYhey
