Guy on cell: Dude, you gotta come down here…I’m about to jump in the ocean and scream at the universe and I want you to help me! (pause) Okay, yeah, send the brown people down.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Dude: Yo, that guy’s Asian as hell!

–Nag’s Head, North Carolina

Overheard by: alxie

20‐something girl, talking about new guy she’s dating: Yeah, he’s kind of indie.
20‐something guy: So is his dick dark brown?
20‐something girl, after a long pause: Not Indian! Indie!

–Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Josh M.

American tourist, to black islander carving a sculpture from a log: You people are so talented!

–Straw Market, Nassau, Bahamas

Overheard by: Dumbfounded Tourist

Black girl with southern accent: If the world ends it’s dem negro’s fault.

–Tampa, Florida

Girl gives little boy a ball.

Little boy: Good looks.
Girl: Good looks?
Little boy: Yeah, that’s what black people say.

–Rockaway Beach, New York

Overheard by: sparky

Doctor: This woman came into the ER the other day who had cut herself on the forehead, but instead of using a towel or something to stop the bleeding, she wrapped her head up like seven times with duct tape.
Dork: Holy shit! How did you get it off of her?
Doctor: We had to cut it off in little strips. She looked like a Hershey’s Kiss.
Dork: What, you mean she was black?
Doctor: Yes!

–Crane Beach, Massachusetts

Preppy guy #1: God, this place totally sucks.
Preppy guy #2: No, it’s fine. You just need to embrace your inner boat person.
Preppy guy #1: Jeffy, I think these are motor boat people.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Black man to extremely dark black woman: Come out of the shade! Don’t you want to get tan?


Overheard by: Cassidy

White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That’s why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.

–Deerfield Beach, Florida