Race

They're Trying to Imagine a Black Dude, Obviously

Queer #1: Charles, look, there’s another one. He’s white, and the other looks Asian.

Holds up large signs that say “6” and “4,” respectively.

Queer #2: Definitely!
Queer #1: Oh, wow. Look at this one. Latino. Yummmm!

Holds up sign that says “9.”

Queer #2: Oh, yes. Totally!
Straight girl, walking by: What are you two doing? Comparing guys’ looks?
Queer #1: Uhh…
Queer #2: Breeder, please. The Asian guy is a 4, the white guy is a 6, and the Latino guy a 9. What do you think we’re trying to imagine?

–Sunset Beach, Florida

Overheard by: MangoJoe

That's What You Said About Tech Support!

Teenage Indian boy to friends running across hot sand: My people do this, so I should be able to also!

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: Rachel

No, You Should Have Ruled Him Out When I Said Yes to 'Is It a Human Being?'

Teen #1: Is he white?
Teen #2: Yes.
Teen #1: …Wait, does that count Michael Jackson?

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

We're a Low-Humidity Race, My Friend

Kid #1: Hey -how you gonna go in the water, come back and be dry already?
Kid #2: Cause I’m black.
Kid #1: [Pause.] Hey, shut up.

–Brighton Beach, New York

Overheard by: Emily

Usually We Just Mock Americans

Chick: So, what’s there to do for fun around here?
Lifeguard: I dont know, I’m Canadian.

–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: NSBS Geo

You Are? I Just Thought You Tanned All Year

Girl on cell: What? Baby, what are you talking about? Why would you want to adopt a Negro?

–Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: Hana

Tonight's Movie: When Harry Punched Sally

Boy: I think what you just said is racism.
Biotech: I’ll give you racism, you black bitch.

–Williamstown, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Tell You What: Give Your Money to Me, and Then You'll Have Genuine Motivation to Steal

Jersey girl: Why do we have to be all ghetto and start stealing stuff when we have money?

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: alison

I Was Told This Was a Gated Community

Mom: I don’t think we can stay at this hotel the whole time.
Daughter: Why? What’s wrong? It’s not that bad…
Mom: No, there’s just so many Mexicans at the pool.
Daughter: We’re in Mexico, mother!

–Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

It's in the Fine Print on the Coppertone Label

Guy: Yo, where's that sunscreen at?
Girl: You don't need any sunscreen, we're black, we have a natural SPF factor of 8.

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: KL

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