Tourist lady: Do you know when the dolphin show is?
Lifeguard: Uh, yeah, I think the truck just came with all the dolphins in it… should be in about half an hour.
Tourist lady: Oh, great! Thank you.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Laughing Local
Skinny hipster in the river: Then why the fuck are we swimming here if I could lose my fucking dick?!
–Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: commodore
Teenage boy: Ugh… Why is this place littered with shells?
–Connecticut
Overheard by: anonymous
Five-year-old as old lady swims by: Grandpa, how much older can a woman get?!
–Harry Wright Lake, Manchester, New Jersey
Overheard by: I Put on More SPF
Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach.
–Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach.
–Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Young boy to father: Dad, do you know those girls?
Father: No!
Young boy: Oh, 'cause you keep staring at them…
–Lake McConaughy, Nebraska
Five-year-old (yelling across beach: Mommy, if you pooped out a baby, would I faint?
–Ocean Beach III, New Jersey
Girl #1: Come on, get in the water.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s nice.
Girl #3: No way! There are sharks!
Girl #1: There aren’t any sharks.
Girl #3: Oh yeah? Then why are there so many bubbles?
–Robert Moses Beach, New York
(built dude in super-tight white spandex shorts roller blades past a group of hipsters on bicycles)
Biking ironic hipster to girlfriend: Woah. Did you just see that sweet penis?
–North Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kara Lang
