20-something girl on cell: The baby-changing room?! That’s horrid!
–Interislander Ferry, New Zealand
Overheard by: Sally
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
Unless You’re Monty Python
Dude on cell: Falling in love with me and sitting on my face are two completely different things.
–Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Matyis
Maybe They’ll Shame Me Out Of My Little Hissy Fit
Guy on cell: Dude, you gotta come down here…I’m about to jump in the ocean and scream at the universe and I want you to help me! (pause) Okay, yeah, send the brown people down.
–Miami Beach, Florida
I May Never Go Home Again
Young male Australian tourist on cell: We’ve already been to a service station and a McDonald’s, which is different.
–Rotorua, New Zealand
Overheard by: exactly how different to McDonald’s in Australia?
Mom Rates Them on the Same Scale As Figure-Skating
Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it’s really getting annoying, I’m like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Elise
Story Of My Life, Ma’am.
Elderly woman wearing metal curlers, on cell: So I was masturbating to Human Centipede the other day, and it occurred to me I haven’t gone to mass in like, forever!
–Tampa, Florida
I’m Under the Sun.….Now
Women on cell walking down a 2‑mile beach: I am right by the water. Where are you?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Antzolino
You Mean ‘Danger’ in Your Vagina… And How Did You Know I Called It That?
Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?
–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York
Today’s Forecast: Dawn of Self-Awareness Hidden by Clouds of Stupidity
Over-dressed and self-important guy on cell: No, no, it was some sort of implement she was calling us… No… Rubber? A douchebag? I’ve heard that before.
–Pacific Palisades, California
Overheard by: ear of the betafish
On Jerry Springer It’s Never Out
Girl on cell: Don’t be worried! Incest is totally in this season.
–Tampa, Florida
