North Carolina

Teen boy #1: Yeah, and then there’s the what-do-you-call-its — those Doritos X-13-D or whatever — where you name the flavor.
Teen boy #2: Haha, yeah. They probably just, like, mixed ingredients or something and didn’t know what to call it.
Teen boy #1: All I know is it tasted like Dijon mustard and chicken Ramen noodles.

–Manteo, North Carolina

Overheard by: Sarah J

Dude: I didn’t steal the Bentley. I hijacked it.
Girl: [Slaps him.]

–Oean Isle, North Carolina

Shopping woman #1: I really like the crabs.
Shopping woman #2: Oh, me too. The crabs are great.

–Duck, North Carolina

Overheard by: Better you than me

Small child, screaming: Do you have a boat?
Man in giant boat off shore: Yes.

–North Carolina

Overheard by: jen

Chick #1: So, what happened to you last night?
Chick #2: Um, I died.

–The Coffeehouse, Manteo, North Carolina

Mother: Both of my daughters are allowed to marry Orlando Bloom if they ever want to. That is one gorgeous boy.
Father: Who’s Orlando Bloom?
Daughter #1: An elf.
Mother: No, he’s not.
Daughter #2: Yes, he is — he was Legolas in the Lord of the Rings.
Father: The elf was played by a black man?

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Guy: Ouch! This sand is hot.
Girl: Where are your shoes?
Guy: Shoes? You don’t wear shoes on the beach. The sand feels too good to wear shoes.

–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Bill

50-something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50-something woman: Well, I don't want the key lime pie, that's fifth on a list of five options.
20-something woman #1: Well, why don't we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-something woman: I want everyone to eat what I'm eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20-something woman #2: Oh my god. I'm leaving.

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Audrey

Lady to strangers: Sorry to ask you this, but my sons hate me and won’t touch me, so can you put some sunscreen on my back?

–Southern Shores, North Carolina

Dude: Yo, that guy’s Asian as hell!

–Nag’s Head, North Carolina

Overheard by: alxie