North Carolina

Guy: Does my face smell like vagina?
Girl: I doubt it [sniffs his face]. Well, maybe a little.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Little girl: Grandma, you’re old!
Grandma: How old do you think I am, sweetie?
Little girl: I dunno… like, 16, or something.

–Wilmington, North Carolina

Girl to guy with oddly‐shaped swimsuit: What kind of a tan line do you have?
Guy: Get the hell away from me! I don’t know you!

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Teen boy: Yo, you’re hot. How old are you?
Girl: Eleven. But I’m turning twelve in three days.
Teen boy: … Bye.

–Emerald Isle, North Carolina

Woman to friends, as they decide where to set up: Let’s look for a part of the beach that isn’t so sandy, y’all!

–Kill Devil Hills, Outer Banks, North Carolina

Overheard by: R U Serious?

Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That’s why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren’t you pregnant at 16?

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Emily

Father: No, you can’t go in there. There’s a bar, and it’s over 21.

Little boy standing in front of café stares at father.

Father: Quick, get away from the door before you set off the alarm!

–Duck, Outer Banks, North Carolina

20‐something woman #1: She was bitching about how there was nothing to eat in the house, and so Bob* said, “you could go to the store,” and she said, “I don’t go to the store on my vacation. There are two things I don’t do on vacation: go to the store and cook.“
20‐something woman #2: What is she even on vacation from? Sitting on her ass?

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Small child, screaming: Do you have a boat?
Man in giant boat off shore: Yes.

–North Carolina

Overheard by: jen

Cute guy, about credit card: Yeah, sorry it’s bent. I jumped off the bridge.
Clerk girl: You jumped off the bridge, huh? Yeah, it’s better if you do it naked.

–7‑Eleven, Manteo, North Carolina