North Carolina

Lady: I am completely at peace with my salad.

–Manteo, North Carolina

Overheard by: Sarah J

Girl: If I use cooking oil, do you think I’ll tan twice as fast?
Boy: No, but you’ll probably smell like bacon.

–Corolla, Outer Banks, North Carolina

Overheard by: Mandy

Chubby, bald man to female friends: They should really put mirrors on the beach, facing out towards the water, so you can watch yourself in the ocean… No, not mirrors, JumboTrons! I would love to watch myself on a giant tv while I swim!

–Kure Beach, North Carolina

Little boy, standing in water: I CHALLENGE YOU, POSEIDON!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Mom to little boy: You do not pee on somebody unless they ask you to!

–Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: mad-the-hatter

Senior week girl: Why can’t we bring beer bottles on the beach?!
Senior week guy: Seriously… Isn’t sand made of glass anyway?

–Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Kim Beegle

Man #1: What kind of clouds are those?
Man #2: Ambidextrous.
Man #1: Oh, yeah. Ambidextrous.

–Corolla, North Carolina

Overheard by: James

Guy: So I went to the party last night… and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Dude #1: That cloud over the moon looks like the number three! Dude, that is crazy!
Dude #2: Why is that crazy?
Dude #1: Because that was Dale Earnhardt’s number. It’s like he’s speaking to me!

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Overheard by: Gambitgirl

Little girl to her mother: I spy something pretty!
Teenage girl, looking the mirror: It’s me.

–Public restroom, Atlantic Beach, North Carolina