North Carolina

Man #1: What kind of clouds are those?
Man #2: Ambidextrous.
Man #1: Oh, yeah. Ambidextrous.

–Corolla, North Carolina

Overheard by: James

Guy: So I went to the party last night… and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Dude #1: That cloud over the moon looks like the number three! Dude, that is crazy!
Dude #2: Why is that crazy?
Dude #1: Because that was Dale Earnhardt’s number. It’s like he’s speaking to me!

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Overheard by: Gambitgirl

Little girl to her mother: I spy something pretty!
Teenage girl, looking the mirror: It’s me.

–Public restroom, Atlantic Beach, North Carolina

Lady: You have an awfully long deck.
Homeowner: Thanks… Oh, you said ‘deck.’

–Topsail Island, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jim

Formerly smiling lifeguard: Great, I’ve got bird shit on me, and we have to listen to John Mayer!

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina