New Jersey

Two girls are dancing in their car, while listening to ‘Boom Boom Boom Boom.’

Driver’s seat: Dude, I wonder if people are staring at us right now.
Passenger’s seat: We’re in a car. No one can see us! We have tinted windows!
Driver’s seat: Dude. All the windows are down.

–Spring Lake, New Jersey

Overheard by: Thank god I have a high IQ

Man: Get rid of your mustache, and then worry about the Brazilian.
Woman: Get some hair on your head, and then go fuck yourself.

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mike

Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit?

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily

Man to friends: He's a pyromaniac from way back.

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bonnie

Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!

–Jersey Shore

10-year-old girl: My virgin arms! My virgin arms!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: Confused

Girl #1: So have you spoken to him at all?
Girl #2: A little. I think he might be ready to get back together soon.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #2: Well, this might be overanalyzing, but his last move on Scrabulous was “sorry”.

–New Jersey

Fat sweaty drunk boyfriend to fat sweaty drunk girlfriend: Babe… I don't ever want you to have to suck my cock for money again.

–Jersey Shore

Overheard by: Five Minutes Later A Stranger Grabbed My Hair and Smelled It

Fat sweaty drunk boyfriend to fat sweaty drunk girlfriend: Babe… I don't ever want you to have to suck my cock for money again.

–Jersey Shore

Overheard by: Five Minutes Later A Stranger Grabbed My Hair and Smelled It

Mother to five-year-old: I don't want to hear your shit!

–Seaside Heights, New Jersey

Overheard by: Luminesce