Another Round of 'Two Truths and a Lie'

Jersey girl: I never understood the Jersey Shore — the water is dirty and the streets are trashy.
Dude: Just like the girls here, dirty and trashy.
Jersey girl: Yeah, but at least we have good hair.

–Ocean Grove, New Jersey

Posted on February 12, 2023
Body parts, Compliments, Default, Geography, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insults, New Jersey

But Isn't Urine Sterile?

Girl: Can you tell me why you’re pissing on the sand?
Guy: We’re in Jersey.
Girl: Yeah, so?
Guy: Jersey’s dirty. It’s your duty as an American to fuckin’ keep it that way, bitch.

–Merivale Avenue, Beach Haven, New Jersey

Overheard by: Snow White

Posted on February 10, 2023
Assholes, Geography, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insults, New Jersey, Pee, Stupidity

And Had to Give It to a Guy Named Tyrone

Girl #1: I love Italian men. And black men.
Girl #2: Didn’t you date a half black, half Italian man?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: So where’s the ring?
Girl #1: He went back to jail.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Genevieve

Posted on February 9, 2023
Compliments, Crime, Friends, Girls, New Jersey, Race, Relationships

Fictional Fucking Is So Much Neater Than the Real Thing

Old woman #1: So did you get that dirty book I was talking about?
Old woman #2: No, I couldn't find it. They don't sell them at Barnes and Noble. I have to look on Amazon.
Old woman #1: The one I read is really graphic. This girl is this room, watching two people doing it.
Old woman #2: Yeah, I'm saving some of them to read on the plane ride.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Overheard by: caySAYhey

Posted on January 31, 2023
Internet, New Jersey, Old folks, Questions, Sex, Weirdness, Women

I'm Rethinking the Joint Custody Arrangement

Mother taking away son’s boogie board: Enough, time to leave and go home.
Young son: You don’t deserve a child!

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Gaby Young

Posted on January 25, 2023
Moms, New Jersey, Should've used a condom, Swimming

And Were Shaped Like Either a Horse or a Teacup, Depending Upon Who You Ask

New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam

Posted on January 24, 2023
Compare and contrast, Guys, New Jersey, Rack, Size

Shelby Went Kayaking With the Prince of Darkness and Had a Comparatively Lovely Time

Mother, loudly: Oh my God, get over here! Turn around!
Teen daughter: What! What’s on me?!
Mother: A stretch mark! That’s what! Right there on your hip! You have got to lay off the chips! We are on vacation here. You shouldn’t be stress-eating!
Teen daughter: Mom! Shut up! People can hear you.
Mother: No, no one is listening, and besides, they can all see it, too.
Kayaking instructor: Does everyone have their life vests on? Good now I’d like you all to pair up, and for this first run we are going to pair up with someone you don’t know.
Daughter: Thank God!
Mother: What?

–Bayville, New Jersey