Movies

No, There Has to Be at Least an Hour of Hijinks and Double Entendre First!

Foreign girl: Hello. I just bought this bike. I need a special instrument to raise the seat. Can you help me?
Guy #1: We might. Do you need a wrench?
Foreign girl: Oh. I don’t know…[giggles]Guy #2: Where are you from?
Foreign girl: Belarus.
Guy #1: Why did you decide to come to the US?
Foreign girl, excitedly: I came for work and pleasure! I work at Subway!
Guy #2: This is so stereotypical teen movie.
Foreign girl: Does that mean you can fix my bike?
Guy #1: Do you wanna come inside and get drunk with us?

–5 Kings Row, Dewey Beach, Delaware

You Know She Likes Fish

Hot chick #1 (laying on Little Mermaid towel): I always feel bad laying on her like this.
Hot chick #2: I wouldn’t! I’d scissor her face if she was real.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

I Think They Even Did Splits!

Large lady in elevator to another: The kids brought back this DVD, they said it was PG‐13… Well they started it up and it was raunchy! It had cheerleaders in it and god knows what else.

–Majestic Beach Towers, Panama City Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Heading to Blockbusters to find that DVD!

Rivers Of Chocolate Are So Gangsta

Guy: Fuckin’ Wonka?
Girl, watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory: Yeah man, the orig.

–Dundas, Canadia

Tomorrow Night It’s The Devil in Miss Jones or Nothing

Five‐year‐old girl to dad humming Lion King theme: Would you please stop singing that song?!
Dad: I can’t get it out of my head.
Five‐year‐old girl: That’s the last time you make me watch that movie with you.

–Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: jeff little

Their Brains Are in a League of Their Own

Movie critic #1: You know that movie, with Tom Hanks, where he plays the drunk baseball player? And the women are the players because the men are gone?
Movie critic #2: Where?
Movie critic #3: To war.
Movie critic #2: So the women played baseball? That wasn’t a movie.
Movie critic #1: You know, the movie has that star that’s on TV. Bette Davis’ daughter.
Movie critic #3: Who?

Debate goes on for several minutes.

Movie critic #1: Wait, it’s Geena Davis! She’s Betty Davis’ daughter! See the resemblence in the eyes?
Movie critic #3: Didn’t Betty Davis hate Geena because she was tall?
Movie critic #1: Well, she got the part anyway, didn’t she? Geesh, I wish I could remember the name of that movie!

–Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts

Over There’s Where Jesus Rested with the Cross

Gangsta kid to girl, on date: You see this spot right here? This is where Forrest Gump…stopped runnin’!
Girl, in disbelief: No way!

–Ocean City Boardwalk, Maryland

Overheard by: Tyler

Or I Will Have It, After Three Easy Payments of $49.99

(in line at a grocery checkout)
Guy: I’m really excited about watching more movies, old ones and new ones. (pause) Now that I’ve got my soul back.

–Huntington Beach, California

Okay, Assghanistan Is Not a Real Place

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Borat was from Kazakhstan – that’s a real country!
Boyfriend: No it’s not!
Girlfriend: Yes it is, it’s over in the Eastern European area! You are so up your ass right now!

–Kaanapali Beach, Maui, Hawaii

Overheard by: Megan

I’ve Never Admired You More, Mom

Teenage girl: Rob Lowe is ridiculously hot. Hey, did you know he has a sex tape?
Girl’s mother: Yes, I did know that because I starred in it with him. And he was good.

–Biloxi, Mississippi

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