Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Mother: Do you know how dogs introduce themselves to each other?
Eight-year-old daughter: No, how?
Mother: They sniff each other's butts.
–Guam
Overheard by: Nadine
Mother: Stop flicking your ear.
Tween son: I can't. My ear is so awesome.
Mother: You're so retarded sometimes.
Tween son: Like dad?
–Orchard Beach, The Bronx, New York
Overheard by: Pinks
Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!
–Tampa, Florida
Hysterical mom to toddler in bathroom stall: Goddamit Jeffrey, stop trying to pull it off and just piss out of it!
–Bathroom Stall, Mall, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Mom: Hey, Jason! I’ll give you fiiive dollars if you can catch a seagull!
Kid: So?
Mom: That’s like… eight Twinkies! [Kid begins chasing gulls.] Oh, look, he’s trying to hit them with rocks!
–South Haven, Michigan
Crabby mom to sugared-up five-year-old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: airwav
Woman to another, trying to get support to protect the seals: Yeah, my daughter's friend wants to be a marine biologist. She is so smart.
Daughter's friend, in confused voice: Hey, I got gum on my camera.
–Children's Beach, La Jolla, California
Young mom pointing to giant plaster camel: Hey, look! A giraffe!
–Panama City, Florida
Overheard by: Feeling bad for the kid
