Mom: Hey, Jason! I’ll give you fiiive dollars if you can catch a seagull!
Kid: So?
Mom: That’s like… eight Twinkies! [Kid begins chasing gulls.] Oh, look, he’s trying to hit them with rocks!
–South Haven, Michigan
Mom: Hey, Jason! I’ll give you fiiive dollars if you can catch a seagull!
Kid: So?
Mom: That’s like… eight Twinkies! [Kid begins chasing gulls.] Oh, look, he’s trying to hit them with rocks!
–South Haven, Michigan
Crabby mom to sugared-up five-year-old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: airwav
Woman to another, trying to get support to protect the seals: Yeah, my daughter's friend wants to be a marine biologist. She is so smart.
Daughter's friend, in confused voice: Hey, I got gum on my camera.
–Children's Beach, La Jolla, California
Young mom pointing to giant plaster camel: Hey, look! A giraffe!
–Panama City, Florida
Overheard by: Feeling bad for the kid
Mother to five-year-old: I don't want to hear your shit!
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Luminesce
Young mother #1: I am just so pissed that I have to wait until Wednesday to find out if I’m pregnant or not. I really want to go out drinking tonight.
Young mother #2: So? I never let that hold me back.
Young mother #1: Yeah, that’s gotta be why little Eric* has a third nipple.
–Sachuest Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Rebecca
Flabby mom in bikini, having picture taken with three kids: Honey, come stand in front of mommy's tummy.
–Penfield Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut
Flabby mom in bikini, having picture taken with three kids: Honey, come stand in front of mommy's tummy.
–Penfield Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut
Upset teenage daughter to mother: Mom, I can't have sugar! (pause) What is “creme brulee,” anyways?
–Huntington Beach, California
Three-year-old girl, swaying her hips: Mommy, do I look like a teenager?
–Fire Island, New York
