Lady to strangers: Sorry to ask you this, but my sons hate me and won’t touch me, so can you put some sunscreen on my back?
–Southern Shores, North Carolina
Lady to strangers: Sorry to ask you this, but my sons hate me and won’t touch me, so can you put some sunscreen on my back?
–Southern Shores, North Carolina
Mother taking away son’s boogie board: Enough, time to leave and go home.
Young son: You don’t deserve a child!
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gaby Young
Young Boy: Mommy Mommy, they have Nemo in that fish tank!
Mom: Honey, Nemo’s dead.
–Antigua, the Caribbean
Overheard by: Ollie
Mother, loudly: Oh my God, get over here! Turn around!
Teen daughter: What! What’s on me?!
Mother: A stretch mark! That’s what! Right there on your hip! You have got to lay off the chips! We are on vacation here. You shouldn’t be stress-eating!
Teen daughter: Mom! Shut up! People can hear you.
Mother: No, no one is listening, and besides, they can all see it, too.
Kayaking instructor: Does everyone have their life vests on? Good now I’d like you all to pair up, and for this first run we are going to pair up with someone you don’t know.
Daughter: Thank God!
Mother: What?
–Bayville, New Jersey
Lady on cell: Hello? I need to get a spare tire put on… Yes, the BMW — my son’s car. Well, I’m not actually sure what tire it is. See, my son’s the one with the flat. He’s a few blocks from home, and he has his own AAA number, but he said he called and he got the automated menu, and he got confused. He’s only 20, and– [pause, then] –Yes, I guess I do coddle him…
–Malibu, California
Overheard by: Danielle
Big mama in bathroom stall with daughter: Hurry up and pee!
Young girl: Mommy, I can’t pee with other people around!
Big mama: Honey, if and when you go to jail, you gonna hafta pee in front of other people.
–Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Riley
Mom to little boy: Now, don’t touch other people’s eyeballs.
–St. Simons Island, Georgia
Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
British mother to young child: Either put it in your mouth or I'm giving it to charity!
–Miami Beach, Florida
