Mom to little boy: Now, don’t touch other people’s eyeballs.
–St. Simons Island, Georgia
Mom to little boy: Now, don’t touch other people’s eyeballs.
–St. Simons Island, Georgia
Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
British mother to young child: Either put it in your mouth or I'm giving it to charity!
–Miami Beach, Florida
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Mother: Do you know how dogs introduce themselves to each other?
Eight-year-old daughter: No, how?
Mother: They sniff each other's butts.
–Guam
Overheard by: Nadine
Mother: Stop flicking your ear.
Tween son: I can't. My ear is so awesome.
Mother: You're so retarded sometimes.
Tween son: Like dad?
–Orchard Beach, The Bronx, New York
Overheard by: Pinks
Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!
–Tampa, Florida
Hysterical mom to toddler in bathroom stall: Goddamit Jeffrey, stop trying to pull it off and just piss out of it!
–Bathroom Stall, Mall, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
