Massachusetts

Teen on phone: Yeah, I’m just getting some breakfast. [To bartender] Can I get a beer?

–Pub, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Islandhopper

Son: These are pretty good.
Dad: Yeah, they’re not bad if you soak them in your mouth like sausage.

–Nauset Light Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith

Nagging mother to adult daughter, after sniping at her all afternoon: Your best attribute used to be your personality. But with the life you lead, now it's dead.
Adult daughter's husband, without looking up from newspaper: It's not dead, it's just asleep.

–Maguire's Landing, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: oysterwoman

Meathead #1: I was so wasted last night.
Meathead #2: Yeah?
Meathead #1: My girlfriend showed me pictures of me making out with a dude.
Meathead #2: Yeah, I think that was me.

–Revere Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Tom

20-something guy to deck hand, pointing to stairs: Do these stairs go down?

–Boat, Boston Harbor

Overheard by: Deck Hand

Lady #1: They could have been Koreans.
Lady #2: But they count, don't they?

–Cape Cod Beach, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Nancy and Andrea

Girl #1: I think more black people are making their way into the North Shore now!
Girl #2: I know! Yesterday I was at the beach, and I saw a couple of them. But they were being led around by some guy…

–Crane’s Beach, Ipswich, Massachusetts

Dad to child about whale bone on display: They got that from Cape Cod’s biggest peregrine falcon monkey. It’s one of the teeth.

–Wellfleet Bay Audubon Center, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Anatomist Wannabe

Little boy: I’m hungry.
Mother: Okay, we will eat in a few minutes.
Little boy: I want to cut your arm off!

–Blue Water Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Lydia

Idiot dad: You know they import all this sand from Florida, that's why it's so soft.
Idiot son: Yeah, I've heard that too.

–Newcomb Hollow Beach, Wellfleet, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Alana Geary