Girl #1: How do my boobs look?
Girl #2: Like oranges. Seriously, you need to quit that fake tanning shit.
Girl #1: Suck my dick.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Jersey girl: I never understood the Jersey Shore — the water is dirty and the streets are trashy.
Dude: Just like the girls here, dirty and trashy.
Jersey girl: Yeah, but at least we have good hair.
–Ocean Grove, New Jersey
Girl: Can you tell me why you’re pissing on the sand?
Guy: We’re in Jersey.
Girl: Yeah, so?
Guy: Jersey’s dirty. It’s your duty as an American to fuckin’ keep it that way, bitch.
–Merivale Avenue, Beach Haven, New Jersey
Overheard by: Snow White
Girlfriend: Why are you all pissed off?
Boyfriend: Some days you don't say shit to me, and then when I'm in a bad mood, you go and say some dumb shit out ya face.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Dano
Girlfriend: Oh my God, I totally look like Paris Hilton.
Boyfriend: Yeah, you’re an overtanned, skinny skank.
Girlfriend, excitedly: I know!!
–Shelly Beach, New South Wales, Australia
Black guy playing drums, smiling at toddler nearby: Hi, sweetie. What you thinkin’? [Passing white lady tourist takes picture, and black guy frowns.] I respect you, too! Do I take a picture of you at the insurance office in Iowa?!
White lady tourist: Well, I–
Black guy: –Step off, bitch! [Turns back to little girl] Don’t grow up to be like her, baby girl.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: This place sure has changed since the 80s
Woman to friend: Look at that woman. She so fat, we should call Greenpeace to roll her back in the ocean.
Little girl passing by fat woman: My mommy says Greenpeace should roll you back into the ocean!
–Zandvoort, Netherlands
Overheard by: Linda
Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not?
–Plum Island, Massachusetts
Tween #1: Do you think I'm a bitch?
Tween #2: No!
Tween #3: You look like a bitch.
Tween #1: What?
Tween #3: Bitches are pretty.
Tween #2: Do I look like a bitch?
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Mother, loudly: Oh my God, get over here! Turn around!
Teen daughter: What! What’s on me?!
Mother: A stretch mark! That’s what! Right there on your hip! You have got to lay off the chips! We are on vacation here. You shouldn’t be stress-eating!
Teen daughter: Mom! Shut up! People can hear you.
Mother: No, no one is listening, and besides, they can all see it, too.
Kayaking instructor: Does everyone have their life vests on? Good now I’d like you all to pair up, and for this first run we are going to pair up with someone you don’t know.
Daughter: Thank God!
Mother: What?
–Bayville, New Jersey
