Health & Hygiene

Woman to husband, pointing at fat girl: Is she pregnant?
Husband: I don't know.
Woman: I'll ask Beth, Beth knows everything.

–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia

Biker's lady to biker: He had this plastic bag of poison ivy and was rubbing it on his face…

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Worried teen: Oh no! The janitor lady cleaned up my tooth!

–Howard Park Beach, Tarpon Springs, Florida

Overheard by: CorLiz

Heavy sweaty chick, yelling across store at friends: My sweat smells like beer!

–Surf Shop, Laguna Beach, California

Preggers: They really shouldn’t let fat people go here. It’s disgusting with their stomachs all poking and out and shit. At least make them wear a shirt!
Other chick: You’re seven months pregnant and wearing a bikini. Doesn’t that include you, too?
Preggers: Shut up, bitch. Of course I don’t count. Guys dig sexy pregnant women.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Glynnis O

Worker #1: Did you just fart?
Worker #2: No, I belched.

–Solana Beach, California

Little boy: Daddy, look what I found in the sand!
Father: Don’t touch it. I don’t know what it is, but don’t touch it.

–Jungle Gym, Coney Island Beach, New York

Girl #1: Do you want to come run with me?
Girl #2: Yeah, just let me finish this cigarette.
Girl #1: Yeah. I think I’ll have one, too. It loosens up your lungs.

–Dewey Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Steve

Girl #1: I get so many freckles in the sun.
Girl #2: Yeah, I am so going to get cancer in 2 years. I have so much sun damage.
Girl #3: Um, actually freckles just mean that your skin is working.

–Robert Moses Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Jackie

Drag queen, dressed as a princess with a mop: Come in and have a drink! Best place around!
Straight girl: What are you cleaning?
Drag queen: Girl, it gets messy around here, can't you see? (proceeds to use mop on girl's glasses)

–Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Cordelia