10-year-old boy: We're going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine.
–Tampa, Florida
10-year-old boy: We're going to have a hundred babies together.
14-year-old girl: What do you think I am?
10-year-old boy: A pregnant machine.
–Tampa, Florida
Teen girl #1: I can’t believe people pee in the ocean — it’s so gross.
Teen girl #2: I know, right!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, I only pee in swimming pools. It’s cleaner.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: I prefer the toilet
Swedish guy: … So she had to shave her pussy and use a used razor she found in the trash.
–Barcelona, Spain
Overheard by: boxface
Tanned girl: That’s not tanning lotion. That’s brown paint.
Pale girl: Well, it cost me $80 so it better get me your color. Besides, it says Tahitian women have been using it for years!
Tanned girl: Yeah, and Tahitian women have been having syphilis for years, too.
–Sporting Beach Club, Beirut, Lebanon
Overheard by: Nicolien
Bitchy friend: … So then we took a vote, and you’re the biggest slut out of all of us.
Girl: But I’m the only virgin.
Bitchy friend: We know.
–Kingston Beach, Washington
White trash girl to friend: Whatever, I'm on my period, so I'm not even worried about it.
Gay male friend: You can still get pregnant on your period, I think.
(awkward silence)
White trash girl, laughing: You are such a fucking retard.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ryan L
Mother to toddler: Baby, don’t cough like that. People are going to think you have TB, and then no one will want to be your friend! [To friend] I probably shouldn’t tell her that, should I?
Friend: Probably not. You’re going to give her a complex.
Mother: Shit.
–Panama Beach, Florida
Woman: I am talking, and you are farting. That’s nice!
–Balmy Beach, Toronto, Ontario
Overheard by: nfh
Young woman on cell: Okay, well, I’m leaving before he sees the blood.
–Minnetonka Beach, Minnesota
Overheard by: buddy
Older lady #1: You know they have a hot stone massage?
Older lady #2: Really?
Older lady #1: Yeah! It sounds really nice.
Older lady #2: Maybe we should get them! Then we can get shirts that say “I got stoned in Miami”
Older lady #1, laughing: We could.
Older lady #2: No, but I actually want to get them and wear that shirt.
–Elemis Spa, Miami Beach, Florida
