No More Family Reunions for You, Missy

20-something girl #1: So everyone thinks that Nate gave Aric that hickey last night when they were joking around in the kitchen, and Brandon is kinda mad now, he already told Nate not to give other boys hickeys anymore.
20-something girl #2: Oh, poor Brandon, why does Nate do that?
20-something girl #1: Oh, that so wasn't what I was talking about, Nate didn't even do it!
20-something girl #2: What? How else would Aric have gotten it then? After the kitchen thing we all went to bed, didn't we?
20-something girl #1: Yes…
20-something girl #2: Wait, where did Aric sleep last night?
20-something girl #1: Um.
20-something girl #2: It was you! You hickeyed Aric! What are you, twelve?

–Sauble Beach, Ontario, Canada

Posted on October 30, 2023
Age and ageing, Canadia, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Relationships

…With an Expandable Panel in Front.

Girl on phone: I have good news and bad news! The good news is I'm not pregnant. The bad news is I need new jeans!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Grossed out but laughing

Posted on October 26, 2023
California, Clothes, Diet and Weight, Girls, Health & Hygiene, On the phone

The Pool's on the Haitian Side Of the Border

Mom to screaming eight-year-old boy: I'm going to throw you in the pool if you don't behave.
Eight-year-old boy: Are you crazy? I'll get an ear infection!

–Resort Restaurant, Dominican Republic

Overheard by: Tanya from NY

Posted on October 16, 2023
Dominican Republic, Health & Hygiene, Moms, Should've used a condom, Threats, Violence

She May Have Gotten His Cell Phone Wet

Woman on cell: No, it wasn’t a yeast infection. It’s not a fishy smell, and I have cramps. I never get cramps!… Yeah…Maybe that’s why he’s not calling me back.

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Kimmie David

Posted on September 29, 2023
Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Ladies, New York, On the phone, Relationships, Sensory Experiences

She Must Be Who They Have in Mind When They Say 99% Effective

Teen #1 looking down at bikini top: [Sighs] I wish my boobs were bigger. I can’t wait until one day when I’m pregnant — then they’ll grow.
Teen #2: Why don’t you go on birth control? That made Jen’s* and Michelle’s* get a whole cup bigger.
Teen #3: Yeah, Kelly’s*, too.
Teen #1: Really?! Oh, man! I’m gonna go on birth control and get knocked up. Then they’d be huge!

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: CAT

Posted on September 10, 2023
Bimbettes, Health & Hygiene, New York, Stupidity

Will the Empire-Waist Shirt Never Die?

Old lady looking at 30-something lady with a pot belly: Oh, how nice! How far along are you?
30-something lady: I beg ya pardon?
Old lady, smiling: Well, when are you due honey? The baby!
30-something lady: I'm not pregnant! This is how I look!

–South Beach, Miami, Florida