Kid: If a tornado comes, will our beach be destroyed?
Mom: No. Tornadoes don’t come to the beach.
Kid: Why not? We’re better than Kansas, and that place got leveled!
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Kid: If a tornado comes, will our beach be destroyed?
Mom: No. Tornadoes don’t come to the beach.
Kid: Why not? We’re better than Kansas, and that place got leveled!
–Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!
–Tampa, Florida
Hysterical mom to toddler in bathroom stall: Goddamit Jeffrey, stop trying to pull it off and just piss out of it!
–Bathroom Stall, Mall, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Sailor #1, in bathroom: Ew! I saw your dick!
Sailor #2: Ew! You wish!
–Pensacola, Florida
Overheard by: disturbed roommate
Young mom pointing to giant plaster camel: Hey, look! A giraffe!
–Panama City, Florida
Overheard by: Feeling bad for the kid
Man at parents’ 25th wedding anniversary party: Without my parents, I don’t know where I’d be today.
Random guest: In a Kleenex!
–Party boat, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Big Larry
Elderly lady: Come now, y’all! Key West is gonna be loads of fun! They gots the Ripley’s and Cuban people!
–Lido deck, The Carnival Glory, Key West
Overheard by: y’all need an icepack on dat thang?
Young kid: Awww look, you were right. Now I don’t get to punch you.
–Vero Beach, Florida
Male tourist speaking in German: Look at that guy's Speedo!
Female tourist speaking in German: Eeew. And his friend really needs to shave his back.
Male tourist speaking in German: I am so glad no one understands what we are saying.
Female tourist speaking in German: I know!
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: German-speaker
