Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!
–Tampa, Florida
Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!
–Tampa, Florida
Crabby mom to sugared-up five-year-old: Fine! Tell your daddy I said you were shark bait. Just please sit down or, I swear to God, you will be!
–South Padre Island, Texas
Overheard by: airwav
Angry father, trying to climb into boat with son: Turn off the fucking engine, man! I've got a fucking five-year-old here! Jesus, use your fucking head!
–The Hamptons, New York
Southern blonde to older, female family members: Aaaah, there's a bee in my titties!
(commotion ensues)
Sketchy guy, loudly: I'll look for it if you want.
–San Juan Beach, Puerto Rico
Grandma: So aren't you coming to visit me in 3 weeks.
Granddaughter: No, like 2 weeks and 6 days.
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Boy #1: So “home run” means “married with babies”?
Boy #2: Yeah, but I like Grand Slams the best.
–Penfield Beach, Connecticut
Upset teenage daughter to mother: Mom, I can't have sugar! (pause) What is “creme brulee,” anyways?
–Huntington Beach, California
Girl on cell: Don't be worried! Incest is totally in this season.
–Tampa, Florida
Small child to mother as they watch hermit crabs: Mommy, are these the same kind of crabs Daddy brought home before we left?
–Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: Rick
Teen meathead #1: What are you?
Teen meathead #2: 100% Italian.
Teen meathead #1: Oh, really? That's mad cool.
Teen meathead #2: Yeah, but my brother is all different things–he's like Jewish and Irish and stuff.
–Lido Beach West, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: ally
