Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven't seen you forever.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more often. How are you?
Woman #1: Don't even ask. Only a couple of weeks ago I realized I had crabs, and just yesterday I found out my daughter has herpes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. At least you're getting some action.
–Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Marissa
Teenage son: Mom, did dad ever kiss me? Like when I was little?
Mom: Your dad kissed you.
Teenage son: Yeah, but did he ever kiss me on the lips?
Mom: I'm not sure what you're asking.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: Ann
Bearded hipster: I live with my mom… You know, because she's Canadian.
–Bradford Beach, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Trying to Enjoy the Beach
Redneck lady coming out of a liquor store: She must have been drunk when she named her kid “Jose Cuervo”.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Older brother: Okay, okay, run around and grab all the sand and pick it up and throw it on the ground as fast as you can.
(little brother stares cluelessly at older brother)
Older brother: No, you fail!
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Joseph Hammerman
Guy standing in front of store: I can't believe it! That little girl just said “asshole”! I can't believe it! (gestures at two-year-old inside parked car)
Little girl: Asshole!
Guy: I can't believe it that little girl said “asshole” again!
Mother: Ni-iiice.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Girl #1: Why the hell isn’t he going? We have to get someplace too!
Girl #2: It’s probably a parent.
Girl #1: Yeah, those parents are always looking out for kids’ safety. I am so not going to be one of those parents. And I will never have one of those Please Drive Slowly bullshit signs in my yard.
Girl #2: Yeah, if you don’t want me to hit your kid, keep him out of the goddamned street.
–Booth Lake, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Sarah
Trailer guy: So what about Beth?
Trailer girl with child nearby: Beth? Chuck, she can suck my fat pussy.
–Madeira Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Mark
Four-year-old southerner: Dad! We should cut up a fish! We should cut up a fish and watch it bleed!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: beach*blonde
