Teen: What’s Hezbollah?
Dad: Well, it’s hard to explain. They’re a terrorist paramilitary organization, but they’re also a humanitarian social services organization. They’re sort of like the Super Wal-Mart of the Middle East.
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Chick #1: Oh my god, look at that Will*! Isn’t he hot? He’s wearing a sweater, and it’s boiling!
Chick #2: Nah, junkies can’t feel.
–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: knee coal
Girl #1: Why the hell isn’t he going? We have to get someplace too!
Girl #2: It’s probably a parent.
Girl #1: Yeah, those parents are always looking out for kids’ safety. I am so not going to be one of those parents. And I will never have one of those Please Drive Slowly bullshit signs in my yard.
Girl #2: Yeah, if you don’t want me to hit your kid, keep him out of the goddamned street.
–Booth Lake, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy #1: She told me that she wants to see other people.
Guy #2: You’re taking this all the wrong way. Now, you can nail that slut over there and she can’t be mad at you when you get back together!
Slut: I would never have you.
–Long Beach, New York
College chick on cell: I’m like, ‘Why do I have to have dreams about us breaking up? Why can’t I have dreams like I used to… Like when I was fucking Bob Saget?’
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Ava
Dude: That’s why they call me ‘the Titanic.’
Chick: They don’t call you ‘the Titanic.’
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Ana
American girl #1: You know what I want to get while I’m here in India? A Sherpa. That would be so cool.
American girl #2: What’s a Sherpa?
American girl #1: It’s, like, a people endemic to the Himalayas. You can buy one, and they carry your stuff for you.
American girl #2: Oooh, that sounds nice!
–Goa, India
Overheard by: Wish I were Canadian
