Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don't know… I guess I'm like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don't know… I guess I'm like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
20-something Hamptons girl: And it was like me and John, and then like ten other people we didn't know in this big house. It was like The Real World! And… it was awesome!
–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York
Overheard by: wondering where this story began
Girl to friend: It was like crazy monkey sex… and then he just left.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: D
50-something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50-something woman: Well, I don't want the key lime pie, that's fifth on a list of five options.
20-something woman #1: Well, why don't we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-something woman: I want everyone to eat what I'm eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20-something woman #2: Oh my god. I'm leaving.
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Audrey
Over-tanned lady to beach bum eating plum: I would rather drink shower water than eat unwashed fruit.
–Ala Moana Center, Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Jade Buddha
Woman in red dress to friend: I ain't get none of my lemonade! They drank it up like savages!
–Coney Island, New York
Woman in red dress to friend: I ain't get none of my lemonade! They drank it up like savages!
–Coney Island, New York
Girl to friend: I'm going to name one of my friends Jew and the other one Hitler, so it would be like Family Feud.
–Tampa, Florida
Young male Australian tourist on cell: We've already been to a service station and a McDonald's, which is different.
–Rotorua, New Zealand
Overheard by: exactly how different to McDonald's in Australia?
New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam
