Teen girl: My shorts are expanding like a tampon!
–Jones Beach, New York
Teen girl: My shorts are expanding like a tampon!
–Jones Beach, New York
Woman #1: You really should have seen this guy's boobs, they were huge.
Woman #2: So he needed a bra?
Man #1: A bro.
Man #2 (with hands on hips, triumphantly): A manzier!
Woman #1: What he needed was some testosterone!
–Hawaii
Overheard by: Festivus for the Rest of Us
Mom to young son: You lost all your privileges when you peed in your pants.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Scott
Girl on phone: I have good news and bad news! The good news is I'm not pregnant. The bad news is I need new jeans!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Grossed out but laughing
Teen boy on beach, moving desperately: Holy fuck, there's something in my shorts!
Teen floozy in too-tight hot pink rubber bands: No shit, Sherlock. I was riding it last night.
–Tybee, Georgia
Overheard by: Sunbather pining for her girlfriend
White girl to black friend: Why do black people wear colored skinny jeans?
Black girl: So when it's dark you can see them.
–Tampa, Florida
Man on cell: What? What’s up with the banana skirt? How come I don’t get a banana skirt?
–Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii
Girl #1: Yeah, so I wore two different colored flip-flops to the mall. It was so humiliating all day, looking like that.
Girl #2: I would’ve died!
–Ocean Beach, Fire Island, New York
Guy: Ouch! This sand is hot.
Girl: Where are your shoes?
Guy: Shoes? You don’t wear shoes on the beach. The sand feels too good to wear shoes.
–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Bill
Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn't shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers.
–Lake Miramar, California
Overheard by: El Meech
