From Michael Moore's Bowling for Sea Lions

Bimbette tourist #1, about sea lions play-fighting: Oh my god, look at those seals! That big one just, like, knocked the smaller one off the wood thing!
Bimbette tourist #2: That is so mean. I hope the little one, like, kicks his ass in the end.
Local: They’re just play-fighting. It’s a show of dominance.
Bimbette tourist #1: But he pushed him off! He so wasn’t kidding. I could tell.
Bimbette tourist #2: Seriously. God, how can you just excuse him acting like that? Not cool.
Local, muttering: Fucking tourists…

–Fisherman’s Wharf, San Francisco, California

Overheard by: an amused local

Posted on July 24, 2023
Animals, Bimbettes, California

God: Let Me Check My List….

Jehovah’s witness kid #1: Asshole!
Jehovah’s witness kid #2: Geez, Justin! We just read the frickin’ Bible! Stop talking like that!

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: collin

Posted on July 14, 2023
California, Gripes, Kids

Since You Can't Say, "Everything Looks Great on That Bitch"

Chick #1: You know what would be the hardest job in the world?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: To emcee a fashion show. Oh my god, that must be so hard.
Chick #2: Oh, yeah.

–Capitola, California

Posted on July 13, 2023
California, Compare and contrast, Fashion, Girls, Jobs & careers, Stupidity

Two Liters Of Beer Goggles, Stat!

Sober girl in crowded bar: I forgot what assholes people are.

–dive bar in Santa Cruz

Posted on July 8, 2023
California, Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Insults

Some Episodes Of To Catch a Predator Are Just Pathetic

Overweight woman chasing squirrley eight-year-old on the beach: Get over…boy! You get…boy! Boy! You lucky I can't run fast in this sand!

–Beach Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Go Kid Go!

Posted on July 6, 2023
California, Diet and Weight, Fat people, Kids, Weirdness, Women

Otherwise Known As Britney's New Fragrance Believe

Girl: I like the smell of that. What is it?
Guy: Garbage.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: zsaint

Posted on July 3, 2023
California, Girls, Guys, Questions, Sensory Experiences

Hey, I'm Not Giving Up My Good-Luck Marmoset

Stoned surfer #1: Sharks never attack people unless you, like, swim around with a bloody, severed leg tied around your neck.
Stoned surfer #2: Yeah, or like a severed arm or a dead monkey or something.

–Bolinas, California

Posted on June 30, 2023
Animals, California, Stoners, Surfers

They Have Such Awful Taste in Music

Woman, to teenaged daughter: Too bad he’s a pedophile. I was going to ask him to DJ for your party.

–The Esplanade in Capitola, California

Overheard by: Katie O

Posted on June 29, 2023
California, Crime, Gripes, Moms

Really More of a Fourth-Date Question

Blonde: Hey, can you look at my butt? Do I have blood on my butt?
Guy: Uh, what?
Blonde: I have my period — I just want to make sure I don’t have blood on my butt.
Guy: What? Ew.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on June 28, 2023
Bimbettes, California, Health & Hygiene

And That's the Way We Became the Brady Bunch

Girl #1: Alex and I had sex here, on this beach.
Girl #2: When?
Girl #1: Last summer. We were staying at his parents’ beach house and would come out here at night and just do it.
Girl #2: Sounds fun.
Girl #1: Oh, it was. Until we saw this couple walking their dog by the water.
Girl #2: Hm?
Girl #1: It turned out it was Alex’s parents. They totally knew it was us.
Girl #2, laughing: Did they ever say anything about it?
Girl #1: Oh, yeah. His dad took me aside the next morning and told me we could have a private rendezvous one night if I wanted.
Girl #2: No way! That’s disgusting! Oh my god, what a perv!
Girl #1: Yeah, except he and his wife were going to get a divorce anyway…

–Stinson Beach, California

Posted on June 19, 2023
California, Dads, Friends, Sex