Words

Mother, to little boy refusing to wear swimmies: Fine, I guess you can go drown. Say bye bye to mommy. [Little boy breaks into hysterics.]

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Leigh

Girl #1: And that’s when I realized that bisexual and aphrodite are the same thing!
Girl #2: You mean hermaphrodite?
Girl #1: Yeah!
Girl #2: You’re an idiot.

–Long Beach, New York

Girl: The sign for “Ped Xing” is way too vague. Lots of words begin with “ped-“. It could very well be a pedophile crossing.

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Mother to crying six-year-old: No, honey, she didn’t mean it like that. ‘Nonsense’ is not a bad word.

–Compo Beach, Connecticut

Overheard by: trying not to laugh

Rich lady with yappy dog: Well, ‘Caucasian’ has ‘Asian’ in it. Then again, there’s a ‘turd’ in every ‘Saturday.’

–Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Disturbed

Guy, reading back of girl’s shirt, which says “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”: I love that t-shirt! 5 cocks!

–Cherry Grove, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Tom Johnson

Lady: You have an awfully long deck.
Homeowner: Thanks… Oh, you said ‘deck.’

–Topsail Island, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jim

Blonde: So my mom fucked me last night.
Friend: She what?
Blonde: You know, held up her middle finger…
Friend: Um…

–Malibu, California

Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn’t eat them, I think they came out of someone’s rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!

–Florence, Oregon

Overheard by: Johm

Woman: Instead of saying hello, we should say heaveno. Hello gives Satan powers.

–Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: $ue